Kids Jokes

A List of Family Friendly Dog Jokes

Like Larry the Cable Guy would say, "I don't care who you are right there, dogs are just plain funny!" And they are. Below is a collection of G-rated dog jokes that you can share with your kids and your kids can share with their friends.

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!

Q: Which city do dogs like best?
A: New Yorkie.

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower.

Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs.

Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
A: In mush rooms.

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound.

Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle.

Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
A: That hit the spot.

Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A: A mutt in a rut.

Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?
A: When it's a greyhound.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A: A Cockerpoodledoo!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver.

Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bull dog.

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
A: You get rid of the dog.

Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than its bite.

Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
A: Because frost bites.

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: Because no one else will do it for them.

Q: How can you tell if you have a dog that isn't smart?
A: It chases parked cars.

Q: What's a dog favorite hobby?
A: Collecting fleas.

Q: When does a dog go "meow"?
A: When it is learning a new language.

Q: What do you call a litter of young dogs that have come in from the snow?
A: Slush puppies.

Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?
A: Put him in your back yard.

Q: Why do dogs run in circles?
A: Because it's hard to run in squares.

Q: How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?
A: Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark.

Q: What did the dog say when he chased his tail?
A: This is the end.

Q: Where was the dog when the lights went out?
A: In the dark.

Q: What kind of dog can tell the time?
A: A watchdog.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come to you.

Q: Why is a dog so warm in summer?
A: He wears a coat and pants.

Q: Why did the dog's owner think his dog was a great mathematician?
A: When he asked the dog what six minus six was, the dog said nothing.

Q: What do grown up dogs say to their kids?
A: Hush, puppies.

Kids Jokes

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